Saturday, October 11, 2014

Zurvival Saturday (109) How to tell if your boyfriend is a Zombie


So hey, you've met someone, that's great! I don't know how you did it, especially with all these undead roaming around but you did and that's wonderful.  Quick question though: How do you know your Prince Charming is not in fact, a zombie?  Don't know how to tell? That's OK! I've got you covered.

He Might Be a Zombie If.....

1.)He has a severely limited vocabulary. OK, I get it, you've grown accustomed to seeing the hot guy on TV who barely speaks get the girl time and time again and so you think to yourself "Hey maybe this is my time to snag a great guy like that!" Sorry, honey, I hate to break it to you but those grunts and moans aren't just his way of being so tuned into you that nothing else matters and in fact could mean that your boyfriend has turned into a Zombie. 


2.)He starts to smell worse than usual. Yes, we all know guys have a distinct scent about them but has your man started to smell like rotten garbage on a warm summers day? Does no amount of bathing change this fact? Well then your boyfriend could be a Zombie.


3.)He's caught devouring poor Mr. Bun Buns from across the street for dinner leash and all. Oh and did I mention he ate him raw? Now that he's gotten the taste for flesh, watch out, he might decide to take a nibble out of you next!


4.)He's starting to lose bits of himself all over the carpet. I'm not talking about stray hairs and the occasional toenail clipping here.  If he gets up to go to use the phone  and his ear stays attached when he puts it back in the cradle, you might want to make your excuses and get the heck out of there, fast!


Lastly, the surefire way to tell if he might be a Zombie. 




5.)He's fixated on your brain. We all love an ego boost every now and then, but traditional choices of things to compliment are your eyes, your sense of humor or for the more cavemen of you out there, your assets of the jiggly sort. Less common? Complimenting your brain and the deliciousness thereof. It's great that you found a guy who can appreciate how sexy your mind is. It's less great however, that he keeps trying to put ketchup on it.


Now that you know some signs to look out for, Don’t ignore them! If your boyfriend starts exhibiting any of these strange behaviors get out of there, Fast!! Trust me it’s a lot better than having to shoot him in the head or waking up with half your torso gone because he's decided to grab himself a midnight snack.


Remember: This is just a guide. If you suspect that your boyfriend is indeed a member of the walking dead, be sure to consult a professional.

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Out of curiosity, Is your boyfriend a Zombie? 
Lol, I'm just joking, or am I??

Seriously, though....
Have you decided what to dress as for Halloween?
If so, What costume?

 Leave me your answers in the comments below or feel free to tweet me them @Hermyoni  

Well that about wraps up this weeks Zurvival Saturday. Like what you see? Please share! I thank you if you do.  Want to check out past Zurvival Saturday's? Click Here

1 comment:

  1. 1 and 2 could just mean she is dating a teenager. :D The list did make me lol great job. Matt @ JC's Book Haven.

    ReplyDelete

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